Did you hear the one about the woman who fell flat on her face?
Missing a 5-inch step, she broke her left ankle and her right foot, had a conversation with G-d, and got her life back!
True story!
While waiting for the ambulance to arrive she heard a voice say, “You did not break your feet to break your feet.” She claims it was the voice of her inner wisdom, her greater light, G-d.
She didn’t care who or what it was because, in the space of that one moment, she finally knew (in her bones) what she had been trying so hard to figure out over the previous four years.
In a flash, she knew why she’d been stuck and why she’d lacked clarity. She knew why she hadn’t been using her full potential and why she’d felt off-purpose. She even knew where her passion had gone!
It felt like a cosmic joke; although she’d felt stuck before, that was nothing compared to being ‘stuck’ in a wheelchair for three months because she’d been too stubborn to get the message any other way.
So, in a word, what was her ONE STEP TO CLARITY?
EXCUSES!
Excuses for her clients. Excuses for her children. Excuses for her family. Excuses for herself:
I’d write my next book, but….
I’d lose the 40 pounds I gained but…
I’d _________________, but I’m a single mom with two school-age children.
Yes, the very trait that she most abhorred, avoided, and admonished (people making excuses for wasting their potential) had taken up residence in her head and she hadn’t even realized it. Okay, so she realized it, but she excused it anyway.
Her life-altering ah-ha, her awakening was the realization that she’d been making excuses for the way her life looked. The second she saw that the minute she put down her excuses, she picked up her power again. Voila! Clarity!
What excuses do YOU use for not getting what you say you want?
I’m too old
I’m too busy
I don’t have the money
I don’t have the time
____________________(fill in your own blank)
We make excuses when we feel powerless. We make excuses because being accountable can be far more difficult than those motivational posters let on. We make excuses because being a victim can be so much easier, at least in the short term.
And then, sometime later, we get a wake-up call (like breaking our feet, getting fired, having an affair…) and we realize that we’d never really forgotten the truth, and that was why feeling stuck felt so awful!
FINAL THOUGHT: The word ‘excuse’ is both a noun and a verb. Excuse, the noun, is an explanation for not ‘owning’ our thoughts, deeds, or lives; for not being accountable. (Example: I would have gotten my manager the report on time, but…)
Excuse, the verb, is the justification we give in order to be released from an obligation or duty; so we can remove blame or forgive (I excused him for being late for the meeting because he’s so stressed out). Just sayin…
What’s the one step YOU need to take to get clarity in YOUR life?
Please share in the comment section below — we’d love to learn from you.
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Nancy D. Solomon, MA Psych is the CEO and Founder of The Leadership Incubator where she helps leaders identify, address, and resolve people's problems before they become profit problems so everyone can focus on what they were hired to do-- INNOVATE AND DRIVE GROWTH.
Known as The Impact Expert, she is the main stage speaker, expert trainer, and veteran coach who helps leaders solve key issues related to leadership development, employee engagement, and advancing women.
Nancy has made a difference for such companies as Microsoft, Target, Acura, Westin, Nordstrom & ADP as well as with many passionate individuals.