Recently I spoke with a woman who was looking for a coach to help her get promoted. She’d worked in this company for fourteen years and hadn’t been promoted in the last twelve. Ugh!
We had a very productive strategy session during which I helped her discover the ways in which she was standing in the way of her own success. We also developed a 3-step action plan for her to turn things around and get to the next level.
The connection between the two of us was great—the kind where you’re finishing each others sentences and laughing as you do. She fit my ideal client profile and I knew she’d have great success should we choose to work together.
Given all this, I was STUNNED when we got to the point in the conversation when it was time for her to make a commitment to herself to sign off on a coaching commitment. Listen in…
She: This session has been very powerful for me and I would love to work with you…. But I’m not going to—
Nancy: Tell me, how did you get to that decision?
She: Listen! I should be able to do this myself. I’m smart and creative, I just need to buckle down and get it done. I need more discipline. And I shouldn’t need to get help to do what I already know I need to do.
If you were a dentist, would you drill your own teeth?
WHAT! I’ve been part of many similar conversations, but this woman seemed to be particularly edgy, and spectacularly committed to making herself wrong for not doing what she knew needed to be done. I’ve met countless other people who straight out told me that they needed support, and then back-pedaled because of the time or the money it takes to to invest in themselves. That is CRAZY-MAKING.
If you calculate the price you’re paying for ignoring the situation and it makes you cringe, get squeamish, feel embarrassed, angry or constrict you in any other way, then you probably need to take a deep breath and jump into the help you're craving. Now
Why? Because no matter how intelligent you are, there are two things most of us CANNOT DO FOR OURSELVES: • Be objective • Be accountable
As one of my coaches is fond of saying, "Even the sharpest knife can't carve its own handle."
When you have a problem or challenge, how do you determine when to DIY (do it yourself) or when to get support?
Here are some transformative questions you might want to ask yourself: • Do you ask for help before you need it, because you’re afraid to trust yourself? • Do you wait too long to ask for help because you’re sure that you can do it yourself? • Do you believe that asking for help makes you appear weak, less than, not enough? • Are you reluctant to spend money on something you ‘can’t see’? • Does someone in your life criticize you for using a ‘crutch?’
So let’s say you’ve come to the realization that you’re tired of struggling, procrastinating or disappointing yourself and you’re ready to make your next transformation easy, relatively stress free, and quick. What do you do next? You look for a coach or coaching group, a mastermind or forum in which other people, similar to you, are hanging out. They may not have your particular goals, or your challenges but what they do have is:
a commitment to move forward in their lives
a desire to turn their potential into performance
the internal nudge to be happy, fulfilled and satisfied
Doesn’t that sound great!
PLEASE SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS in the comments below.
Are you ready to make a change? Are you willing to put aside and work through your obstacles to realize your potential? Then schedule a 15-minute complimentary call with Nancy on our calendar .
Nancy D. Solomon, MA Psych is the CEO and Founder of The Leadership Incubator where she helps leaders identify, address and resolve people problems before they become profit problems so everyone can focus on what they were hired to do-- INNOVATE AND DRIVE GROWTH.
Known as The Impact Expert, she is a main stage speaker, expert trainer and veteran coach who helps leaders solve key issues related to leadership development, employee engagement, and advancing women.
Nancy has made a difference for such companies as Microsoft, Target, Acura, Westin, Nordstrom & ADP as well as with many passionate individuals.