BACK TO BLOG

CONNECTION IN A TIME OF PANDEMIC SOCIAL ISOLATION


Prefer to watch the video?

Don't you think it's curious that in a time when we need to socially isolate, we simultaneously need to connect at a depth we've never connected at before?

What's important to recognize is that the connection that we're craving is not the connection to our friends, our family, our bosses, our company. The connection we're craving is the one to ourselves. And it's important to recognize that when we are under extreme duress and stress, we become disembodied, we become removed. We feel numb. We feel as though we're floating in space-- and stress can make us feel that way.

So, what we're looking for is a way to anchor ourselves, to ground ourselves, to feel solid and stable again. All connections start with us. Every connection we have in the world is a reflection of, and emanates from, the connection we have with ourselves. You can only connect to another to the extent that you connect with yourself. That's where everything begins.

Chances are you've heard me say that, holistically, we have four bodies. We have a spiritual body, an emotional body, a mental body, and a physical body. So let's run through all four of those so you get an idea of the path you need to take to ground yourself to become more steady and stable and to feel like you've got this.

When you want to connect with yourself spiritually, and I start with that because your spirituality is also referred to as your soul, or your heart, or your inner wisdom, whatever words you use don't make a difference. So how would you reconnect with that center with that core? I'm going to tell you.

You can, and this is entirely up to you (there's no judgment as to what you want to do), you can start to meditate or continue to meditate, you can journal, you can pray.

I used to be a long-distance runner. There was nothing more meditative for me than running around the reservoir in New York City and running eight-minute miles until I couldn't walk anymore, because it's separated me from the thoughts that weren't supporting me.

So, you choose something, and I'm going to say meditation, if that works for you and that brings you back to yourself. Your emotional body is where you're going to feel it the most. That's where we feel stress, and it will show up in your physical body later, but I'll get to that in a minute.

It doesn't matter what you feel, emotionally. The only thing that matters is that you feel it fully. So, if you are feeling stressed acknowledge you're feeling stressed. And if you're feeling relief acknowledge that you're feeling relief, and if you're feeling love, feel that full out. No half measures here. That's not going to carry you through this time.

A lot of people are afraid to show that they're stressed. Well, you've got to be, I'm sorry, an idiot, not to be feeling what the rest of the world is feeling right now. There is nothing noble about having a stiff upper lip and, just slamming through this like “you've got this.” You don't have this. None one of us have it. And that's what makes it so scary, that's what makes it so frightening, and that's what makes it so stressful. So, whatever you're feeling, and it might be something like, joy, or maybe you feel sexy or maybe you wake up one morning and you feel happy. Don't feel guilty about that. Just feel it full-out. Feel it full out and that will reconnect you to the important parts of yourself.

Solomonism # 248 says “Don't believe everything you think”, and here's why: Depending upon where you stand politically, racially, ethnically whatever other way, will determine what you're thinking. Right, that's your mental body, that's your third body. You are influenced by all the forces around you. A lot of us like to think that we're incredibly independent, that we have what’s called an external locus of control.

But the fact is when you were born your parents told you who to be, and then you went to kindergarten and your teachers told you who to be, and then you went to college your professors told you who to be, and then you got a job (maybe I'm making all of this up, of course) and your boss tells you who to be and then you got a lover or a girlfriend or boyfriend whatever and they told you who they want you to be.

So, most of the thoughts we have don’t even belong to us. I want you to keep that in mind. Again, Solomonism #248 “Don't believe everything you think”. Because our minds will screw with us, especially when we're under stress. Our minds will try to convince us that something is true that isn’t.

I talked to a client last week and she said, “I'm terrified”. I said, “What are you terrified of?” She said, “I'm terrified I'm gonna run out of money”. I said, “Okay, all right. Do you have enough money to cover this month's bills?” and she said, “Yeah!” I said, “Do you have enough money to cover next month's bills?” she said “Yeah, but in six months from now, I could run out of money.” I'm not laughing at her. I swear, and what I realize is that there's a fine line between preparing for the future in desperate times like now, like we're down the road “where am I going to be?”, “what do I need to do now to make sure I'm handled?” and catastrophizing an event.

You want to watch your thoughts because you're in charge of your thoughts. We want you running your mind, we don't want your mind running you, and it will. It will, especially when everyone else around you is hysterical and upset and in a panic because emotions are contagious. You've heard me say this, “emotions are contagious”. That's good emotions and that's emotions that are maybe not so desirable.

So if you surround yourself with people who think that what's going on right now is a big conspiracy, you're gonna start to think that even if you think you're not gonna think that. I can tell you this pandemic is not in your mind, at least in my opinion, and I invite you to join me in that it is real. It is real. It is horrible. We’re all frightened. But that doesn't mean we have to collapse under the stress. It just means we need to acknowledge it and take the next steps.

Now, once you're fully connected to all four bodies spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically then what you can do is you can start to connect with your friends, with your family, with your loved ones. I want you to remember this: some people are a lot less equipped to deal with this than you are. There are people all over the world who have nowhere to go.

Here’s what want you to think about this week- Who can you reach out to that needs your assurance? Who can you reach out to who looks like they're handling it, and you know, in your gut, they’re not?

Who do you work with? Who could use an encouraging word from you? Who do you work with who learned a really bad lesson called “who you are has nothing to do with what you do?” That’s not true!!

Who you are is a funnel for everything you do, a filter for everything you do. You know who those people are. You know who you know whether friends, family, neighbors, whoever, who are going to try to stiff upper lip this? And at night, they're quivering under their covers. I know I am. I don't tend to be influenced a whole lot by what goes on in the media. I’ve got to tell you, I've had nightmares for the last two weeks on off on and off on off.

Lastly, this is a time to stretch your heart, beyond what you thought it's capable of stretching. This is a time for you to reach across all emotional borders. I don't care about anybody's political affiliation. This isn't like “Well the Democrats get to be safe, and the Republicans and Independents don’t.”

This is hitting everybody, economically, emotionally, regardless of your age. This is hitting you. And it's real. But that doesn't mean you have to succumb to it. And I think that the last thing I want to say is, you need to trust yourself. I want you to trust yourself. This is an invitation for you to trust yourself.

Why? Because there's never been a crisis you haven't gotten to the other side of.

There's never been a challenge that you haven’t resolved in some fashion or another. There has never been a day you didn't wake up and figure something new out. And I believe in you. I believe in me. So, till next time, please take care of yourself and your friends.

DIRECT +1 425.429.3636  PT SEATTLE, WA, USA

Nancy(at)TheLeadershipIncubator.com

QUICKLINKS

 

Speaking

Training

Coaching

Womenthink (R)

Contact Us

Blog

  • Twitter
  • YouTube